So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
