seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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