I must be too annoying 4 u.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
