and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
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first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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