evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
