Me too!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
how drunk are you?
Several
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
