Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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