I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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