ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
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i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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