Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
