He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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