shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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