Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
