I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
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Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
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The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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