It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
