Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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