That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
