Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize