IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
