dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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