Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
