i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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