How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
