Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
