covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
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Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
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Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
how does that bad decision feel?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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