somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
