help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
