omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize