he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
