just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
