I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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