No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
