where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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