Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
