Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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