We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
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he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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