And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
