she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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