This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
