last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
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Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
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Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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