Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
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ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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