chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
