I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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