just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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