I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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