you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
