Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize