I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
