we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
