Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I'm really busy with my period
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