If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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