So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
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I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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