question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
