Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Blood and glitter go together right?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
