It's Friday. Sex?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
