Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
