Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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