You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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