I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I take back everything I said about communal showers
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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