have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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