I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
