i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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