I'm jealous of your bromance
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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