shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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